NO MORE SNOWWWW
Felt quite snowbound this weekend and was glad when J finally cleared the driveway and we took a drive to my mom's. Thought the storm would never end, started friday late afternoon and went until sunday morning.

A bit of good news for me though, I got that job! I gave my notice on friday and told them my last day would be Jan. 2. I start the new one on Jan 5 and plan to work as much OT as I can to get some money saved and get caught up on some bills. Vacation coming in July and i dont want to go down with no money in my pockets to have fun. M isnt planning to go with us, which was no surprise since she isnt into the beach at all and spent most of her time in the room watching tv. One good thing, my son will probably spend a day or two with my nephew which leaves J and I alone.....wooohoooo.

I think I'm going to make some possitive changes in my life for 2003. I just dont have the time for the things that I've been doing and I need to simplify my life. I know some wont be happy with these changes, but it's my life and my decision.

I havent heard much from f these days and wonder if he's losing interest or has found someone else to occupy his time. I know i shouldnt care because I would rather he found someone to spend his lonely nights with.

Long weekend
While most people are out doing shopping and getting into the Christmas spirit, I'm sitting here wishing it would just pass. I started out the morning going over the checkbook trying to see if I can manage to send the mortgage payment this week or if I should hold back until next week. Cutting it pretty close so I may just wait another week. J's truck breaking down every week doesnt help either. This morning he called again and said I need to go pick him up. He was passing a car on the highway and something kicked up on the road and punctured his fuel tank. He told me he had the Police, fire dept, and EPA there and of course there's lots of paperwork to do when there is a spill. Needless to say he's got to be towed and I'll have to go once again to pick him up (an hour drive). He just had this problem last week and because of the time lost, there was money lost. Now he's got about half his normal pay going in the bank, bills falling behind and more than half my shopping still to be completed. Feeling like just locking myself in my room and crying.

Then my daughter tells me after I got the phone call from hubby, that she'll need some money later in the week for gas to make her commute to school. While she's telling me this, I notice a new Disney sweat jacket that she's wearing. I ask her about it and she tells me she got it at discount because she works there. Now i'm steaming because she has money to buy herself something knowing she'll need gas money. I've been trying to drill into her head that while in school she'll need to budget her money. I let her know that it bothered me that she could be so frivolous knowing I'm struggling financially and she's got almost all her shopping done and asks for money.

Had to leave for awhile to go take M to get the van. On the way J calls and says he'll be at the repair shop in about an hour. I head to get some gas and then get on the highway. I take the exit to get on 495, driving about 15 minutes, I realize I'm going the wrong way. Maybe thats a sign, I should head for cape cod instead!! I just turn myself around and curse a few times and get in the right direction. Once at the flower shop, I call, then wait, then call again after about 45 minutes of waiting for him. He says they had to drop the trailer off somewhere and he'll be there in about 20 minutes. Great!!!....more waiting!!! And I have to pee so baddddd!!! Finally he gets there and we now have to head back to the area where the deisel spill happened because the EPA has to get his signature on the paperwork and werent even supposed to let him leave. We wait there for about half hour while they load barrels of contaminated soil and whatever they used to soak up the deisel on the asphalt (luckily none went into the river below). They could have prevented more spillage if they state cops had sent someone out sooner. J had to call back after 40 minutes of no one showing up. They blamed it on a shift change. So I guess officer "schmoe" was more worried about going home than the harm to the environment as gallons of fuel spilled out of j's truck.

I survived the day though. What could I do, tell him he should get his own damn ride or get a hotel room? I'm his wife and this is all part of marriage i guess. He thanked me several times, told me he loved me a few times too.......how can I stay mad?

Job interview tomorrow
Still need to get a few things done before I'm ready. I'm hoping the interview goes well and they'll make an offer right away, or at least by monday so I can give my 2 week notice. This job is getting to me more and more. My supervisor promised to send me someone each day to help and so far no one has stayed with me for a full week. Last week I had help 3 days out of the 5. This week i got a little help on monday and that was it. I told her last week that I was leaving and would be back sometime after lunch. And now I have to pick up J at his truck before I head back to work.

I'm so excited about meeting B on saturday night!! I still have to find out where and what time. We've known each other for almost 2 months now and still have not gotten any MSG. I told J I was invited to another party so that gives me a few hours of free time.

Early Sunday morning
Just getting home from the sex toy party. I had so much fun!! I could have easily spent about $300 on all the great stuff, but kept it under $50. Got a tube of "Good Head", small bottle of flavored gel. I'm sure J will have me ordering more stuff when he looks through the catalog.

After the party D and I went to get a bite to eat and a drink. We talked until after midnight about our recent "adventures". It's nice to have someone to share these things with. I told her about B wanting to get together the weekend after Thanksgiving. Wont get many chances like that, so I'm going for it. I think I'll bring some of my new purchases with me when I see him.

DAY 1
Thought I'd give this a shot and see if I can sort things out in my life. I lead a life that most people would perceive as mundane or "vanilla". However, there is another side that no one knows (except my best friend). I'm not going to go into the gory details just yet....more to come. I am going out w/ D to a sex toy party. Havent had a girls night out in ages. Might go for drinks after, maybe a little flirting. See how much trouble we'll get into tonight.....hehe.